that day will come

[759pm] there will come a day when we will bump into each other. there will maybe even come a day when we can be cordial to one another. and maybe not you but i do look forward to those days. the days when i know that drama no longer exists. the days that i know that all bad has been put behind us. at some point we were OK and then it became a bitter battle between what you could call mortal enemies. i don't want to be best friends because i already have one of those as do so many other people out there. but what i do want is for everyone to be adults. no matter what age I'm sure we've considered ourselves to be quite grown but not this is for real. lives hang in the balance! i love my life and I'm sure you love yours but its not about us. to many times with anything I've gone through my temptation almost wins me over. to many times i written messages and deleted them because i know they would go unanswered. now no one can look at me as twisted or whatever word suits them best. because if they only knew the real situation they would understand my inner pain. the pain i felt for myself has diminished the pain i have now is for the ones i love the most. the ones who deserve to be a part of someone else so special.

hate hate hate hate hate is all i could think but now all i can do is hope hope hope hope that things will change for the better. maybe you will reach out and say let it end because so much is being missed. we can't be mortal enemies if i extend my ears to listen, my mind to understand, my heart to feel, and my hand to welcome you in. there are other people besides me who feel the same. I'm always a message away and so are they. whatever bad blood there is i remember once being told by someone and hopefully the words are right but "don't let whatever problems we have affect ... being that I'm with him...." we've all said things to people but can we take our own advice. its hard and I'll admit it sometimes i won't even take my own advice.

in ending be wise people about the decisions you make. they don't just affect you they also affect the ones you love and the ones you use to love.

Happy Valentine's Day

[1052] hugs and kisses. cards and chocolate. dinner and roses. this day is filled with love, love, love, and more love. tons of people make sure they get their significant other, friend, or even family member something nice to show them they are loved. there are over 2 billion cards sent out worldwide on this day alone, AMAZING!

anytime v-day is mentioned everyone says its a holiday made by hallmark. in fact this day was named after Saint Valentine (who was originally a priest) he lived during third century Rome. has anyone else besides myself realized most holidays are named after dead people, hmmm! any who. around the time of Saint Valentine Claudius II ruled Rome and he was trying to recruit young men into his army. he realized no one was joining because they didn't want to leave their families and wives. so he declared that all marriages were to be banned, thinking if they had no wives or families to love and worry about they would join. and of course that didn't work!

being a priest and a man of God Saint Valentine knew this was wrong. he secretly married people in the basement of his church. of course there was a sad ending to this, dude has a day named after him. so he was caught and sentenced to DEATH! while in jail he was befriended by the jailer's daughter, she was his only comfort before death. before his brutal beating and hanging it was said that he wrote the jailer's daughter a letter. the ending to the letter read "from your valentine." hence the beginning of something so big. February 14, 270 A.D. marks the death of Valentine and he was declared a Saint in 498 A.D.

he is said to be the most popular Saint of saints. he was kind, courageous, heroic, and romantic. not many will die for the name of love. valentine's day isn't just a day to say i love you, its a day of history. there are so many holidays with a full history and to be aware of such things opens your mind.

so HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to everyone and remember Saint Valentine not just for giving us a holiday filled with candy and cards which is especially enjoyed by woman but for standing up for what he believed in, LOVE!

And Still......

[1039pm] " Still feels like the first time we met that I kissed and I told you I love you, we still run around like teenagers even though we're grown and married with kids, and we still talk on the phone for hours when I'm away and he still writes letters and sends me flowers every other day, the question everybody asks is how we make it last I tell them I still, he still, we still......" Tamia

At the beginning of almost every young relationship its filled with jonesing on the phone till the sun comes up and or going to the movies all the time. There are of course the few love letters or notes here and there. But with all that comes the stupid arguments and even the cursing and screaming. Sad to say some relationships don't make it past the first few arguments. Young love is very sensitive but if that love perseveres that love grows and stays strong.

For almost the past 5 years my relationship has grown dramatically. Were not those young teenagers in high school anymore but we've built a family. In my relationship as in any you should always stay true to who you were from the beginning. I love how I can breathe on the phone with him for hours when were not around each other. Being able to play fight and laugh about it keeps us young (even though we are far from old).

No matter how long we stay together, which I know will be FOREVER he's still the man of my dreams. As corny as this may sound, although its become routine to waking up to him everyday I can't help but smiles are. I don't just smile but my heart smiles because its truly happy. Now we all do know that no relationship does have its arguments and disagreements. No matter how much we might fuss and fight whether it be over the biggest thing ever or the simplest of him not taking the dog out, "we'll be always there to make up as long as we stick together we'll climb higher, I'm gonna ride with him to the wire, our love is never gonna end we're on fire..."

Without Him There Would Be No You

[1018pm] before 2006 it was just me but on September 18, 2006 i was given the greatest gift, my son of course. No one comes into this world without two parents, whether they are together or not, if you call him a sperm donor, or even a dead beat it takes two to make one.

no matter where i am or what i'm doing when i look at my son i see his father. no just because he looks like him and nothing like me lol but because he is a part of him. my son is the greatest joy in my life and without his dd he would not be here has anyone every sat there and wondered that? like the greatest joy of my life is all due to one person, his dad. no matter what me and my sons father may go through i will always be thankful to him, how can i not!

there are so many moms out in this world whether old or young who take the father of their child for granted. how can you, i know i don't or ever will! the air that my son breathes is partly because of him. i hope we can stay together forever but God forbid we don't the way i view him will never change. regardless if we should come to bad terms or worse i will still be thankful to him for giving me my little boy.

i NEVER thought i could love someone this much!

[823pm] What do you love more than anything in this world? Is it popularity, money, jewelry, nice cars, or even that latest fashions. Not everyone can say they have someone they love more than life itself. I was blessed to have that amazing feeling, loving my son more than anything.

If you are a parent, godparent, someones child, or whatever the case may be you can understand where I'm coming from. Before having my son I always knew I loved my mother to death and even my family. Still to this day I will say the same but something is different. When my son was born it was like all the love I had was only for him. I would do anything for him, I would die for him! How can you not love someone unconditionally when you know you brought them into the world.

I was a good kid but not a perfect kid and I did somethings to annoy my mom. What teenager doesn't do that to their parents. When I was younger I thought she was so annoying and just bothering me for her own personal kicks lol. OMG! But as I got older and I had my own child I realized she loved me more than anything. In my eyes my son can do no wrong. Coming home pregnant at 18 didn't please her but I saw she really loved me because she supported me the whole way. Some people are unfortunate and get treated like crap for making a mistake but I was blessed. We all make bad judgements but you know you are unconditionally loved when your parents are always there no matter what. That is something I never take for granted!

To love someone unconditionally is the greatest feeling in the world. And to know that they will always love you in return is what keeps me going everyday.

Escape

[805pm] Have you ever just shoved your face in your pillow and scream or even let out a good yell while taking a shower? I can honestly say I've done that on more that one occasion. Sometimes everyone needs an Escape just to get away from it all.

Life has its challenges and sometimes it can be a bit to much for you. There have been times that I have been by myself for hours at a time and even when I went away to the Bahamas for a few days, all I kept thinking to myself was finally I get some time to breathe. But the only thing I could find myself thinking about were the things that I was trying to get a break from. Was the house clean, did I do this or did I do that, and mostly I could not help but think about my little man.

You really can't help about thinking of something so much if its all your life is consumed by. And especially if its something or someone that has your heart.

Thank You!

[338pm] Hi everyone, well the few that read my blog. I just want to say thank you for even taking the time out to read it. At first I figured I'd blog about my life only but that didn't work out. As you can see through such short time my blog has taken many shapes. I figured why not just write about me but all the fun, crazy, upsetting, sad, and even opinionated things that go on in my head. You can see it will have a very wide range of topics. So be for warned that vampires and my life's stories are just the beginning.


Jacqie <3