A Bond Like No Other

"Now if you need me call me no matter where you are no matter how far, don't worry baby. Just call out my name I'll be there in a hurry you don't have to worry"

Some could surely agree that the bond between siblings is like no other. Whether you live in the same house, different houses, different states, and maybe a different country it is a bond that knows no bonds.

Just like the songs meaning behind every word that is used you can call me whenever, no obstacle will get in my way. When you have a brother or sister you will always be there for them. No argument could keep you apart if you really needed one another. Nor could being separated by the biggest ocean keep you from them. I myself have a big sister who lives all the way in London. She is so far away but I know the bond that we have will always keep us together. There is nothing she wouldn't do for me and I for her. We've had our squabbles like all siblings do but that doesn't keep us from being there for one another.

You may think you need to see your brother or sister all the time to have a really strong bond BUT that's not true! The perfect example to that is me. Just recently I found out that I have a little brother that is 5 years old. Not once had I seen him, held him, played with him, nothing! From the first time that I did heard his voice, just even his name, I felt that connection that bond. I knew there was nothing that I wouldn't do for him. I knew that instantly he became a part of my world. And the bond became even stronger because he was my little brother. Just the idea of being able to be there for him and being a big sister made me want to climb any mountain and swim the deepest oceans, if it meant I could be there for him.

Being a brother or sister, half, or even adopted doesn't make a difference. But being there for one another through the good times and the bad is what makes siblings are there for you. We're their to play jokes on you, tell on you, stand up for you, and just plain love you. Age doesn't matter when it comes to the bonds between brothers and sisters. They could be 40 and 35 or 4 and 2 or even 1 and a few months old a bond can be strong at any age.

I've come to realize when mommy and daddy aren't getting along, seeing eye to eye, and even arguing your sibling will always be the shoulder for you to lean on. If your parents go their separate way, no matter what you should and always will have that bond with your brother or sister. My sister lives all the way in London, our little brother lives all the way in the Bahamas, and our dad is in heaven watching down on us, the bond we have will always be unbreakable.

New Direction

[951pm] its been a really long time since i have last written a blog. there are so many things that i'd like to write about but i just don't know where to begin. the other day my boyfriend gave me a good suggestion on a new way to take this blog. its no secret to anyone that is close to me that i love to take pictures of myself lol and a lot of other things as well. with the hundreds upon hundreds of pictures that i do take behind each one is a story and even a memory whether good or bad. it might not be every day that i take a picture and it might not be all the time that i take trips to great places. if its a picture of me sitting on my stoop or the most beautiful scenery in central park there's a story i could tell. don't get me wrong i do enjoy writing about my personal life and stories but its about time to switch it up. i probably don't have a lot of readers but in time i definitely will the best thing you will read. i would love for it to come to the point where someone will email me, put a comment on my blog page or even message me on facebook something that they think is a good topic. i love to write and i want to continue to do what makes me happy. if you do decide to email me you can do it at jacqssthoughts@yahoo.com i would love some suggestions! also go check out my old blogs. as they say on yo gabba gabba "try it you'll like it" =)

Friends

[832am] "as we age up, we realize that it's not important to have friends, what's important is to have real ones" - Vea Mariz

how many friends have you had? i know i have had dozens upon dozens of friends but out of all those friends only a few of them have been a real friend to me. a lot people pride themselves on saying they have thousands of friends on facebook but how many of them are really there for you?

what makes someone a real friend? a real friend will always be honest with you no matter if it hurts your feelings. a real friend will pull you out of your darkest moments. when you have a real friend it doesn't mean you have to constantly see eachother or even speak on the phone. having a real friend means that you know if you ever need them they will always be there. i know if i ever needed something so bad my friend would help me in any way she can. its nice to have friends, people you can hang with sometimes but there's nothing like having a real friend. a real friend knows your deepest dark secrets and fears and they won't judge you or tell the world. when you have a real friend they are no longer considered to be a friend they become your sister or your brother, they become family. and we all know family comes first. i could go on and on about the definition of a real friend but all i can say is having a real friend is one of the best parts in my life.

We Are Forever Young

[625pm] "So let's just stay in the moment, smoke some weed drink some wine. Reminsce, talk some shit, forever young is in your mind. Leave a mark that can't erase neither space nor time. So when the director yells "cut," I'll be fine, I'm forever young."

do you really want to live forever, be forever young? we were not promised to live forever someday we will all take that journey to the stars. we can sit back and laugh about the days when we were young. when life was really just about having fun. talking about the things we once did as kids or even teenagers takes us back to those moments in time when we were "young." we may laugh, hey we may even cry because those memories were so amazing and at the fact that we really aren't so young anymore. some of us have families and we even have degrees but because we have these things does that mean we can be young anymore or even forever young? OF COURSE NOT!

we can all be forever young and i know i plan to be. i'm not just going to live life, i'm going to enjoy life and make something out of my life. millions upon millions of people live their lives day to day but when they go the stars they are forgotten. we all fear what is to come and that is to be forgotten. change that! find that cure for cancer, build on your dreams, do what makes you happy, do what can even make you a legend. we may not be meant to walk to world forever but our names can live on forever and be forever young. dr.jacqueline jacobs newton(lol) will be forever in the minds abd hearts of people because i plan on making myself forever young, forever a legend. while doing this i will still enjoy my life and build memories to sit and reminsce about. the journey may not be easy but i will do anything to be "forever young."

"Bye-byes are not for legends, I'm forever young, my name shall survive."

that day will come

[759pm] there will come a day when we will bump into each other. there will maybe even come a day when we can be cordial to one another. and maybe not you but i do look forward to those days. the days when i know that drama no longer exists. the days that i know that all bad has been put behind us. at some point we were OK and then it became a bitter battle between what you could call mortal enemies. i don't want to be best friends because i already have one of those as do so many other people out there. but what i do want is for everyone to be adults. no matter what age I'm sure we've considered ourselves to be quite grown but not this is for real. lives hang in the balance! i love my life and I'm sure you love yours but its not about us. to many times with anything I've gone through my temptation almost wins me over. to many times i written messages and deleted them because i know they would go unanswered. now no one can look at me as twisted or whatever word suits them best. because if they only knew the real situation they would understand my inner pain. the pain i felt for myself has diminished the pain i have now is for the ones i love the most. the ones who deserve to be a part of someone else so special.

hate hate hate hate hate is all i could think but now all i can do is hope hope hope hope that things will change for the better. maybe you will reach out and say let it end because so much is being missed. we can't be mortal enemies if i extend my ears to listen, my mind to understand, my heart to feel, and my hand to welcome you in. there are other people besides me who feel the same. I'm always a message away and so are they. whatever bad blood there is i remember once being told by someone and hopefully the words are right but "don't let whatever problems we have affect ... being that I'm with him...." we've all said things to people but can we take our own advice. its hard and I'll admit it sometimes i won't even take my own advice.

in ending be wise people about the decisions you make. they don't just affect you they also affect the ones you love and the ones you use to love.

Happy Valentine's Day

[1052] hugs and kisses. cards and chocolate. dinner and roses. this day is filled with love, love, love, and more love. tons of people make sure they get their significant other, friend, or even family member something nice to show them they are loved. there are over 2 billion cards sent out worldwide on this day alone, AMAZING!

anytime v-day is mentioned everyone says its a holiday made by hallmark. in fact this day was named after Saint Valentine (who was originally a priest) he lived during third century Rome. has anyone else besides myself realized most holidays are named after dead people, hmmm! any who. around the time of Saint Valentine Claudius II ruled Rome and he was trying to recruit young men into his army. he realized no one was joining because they didn't want to leave their families and wives. so he declared that all marriages were to be banned, thinking if they had no wives or families to love and worry about they would join. and of course that didn't work!

being a priest and a man of God Saint Valentine knew this was wrong. he secretly married people in the basement of his church. of course there was a sad ending to this, dude has a day named after him. so he was caught and sentenced to DEATH! while in jail he was befriended by the jailer's daughter, she was his only comfort before death. before his brutal beating and hanging it was said that he wrote the jailer's daughter a letter. the ending to the letter read "from your valentine." hence the beginning of something so big. February 14, 270 A.D. marks the death of Valentine and he was declared a Saint in 498 A.D.

he is said to be the most popular Saint of saints. he was kind, courageous, heroic, and romantic. not many will die for the name of love. valentine's day isn't just a day to say i love you, its a day of history. there are so many holidays with a full history and to be aware of such things opens your mind.

so HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to everyone and remember Saint Valentine not just for giving us a holiday filled with candy and cards which is especially enjoyed by woman but for standing up for what he believed in, LOVE!

And Still......

[1039pm] " Still feels like the first time we met that I kissed and I told you I love you, we still run around like teenagers even though we're grown and married with kids, and we still talk on the phone for hours when I'm away and he still writes letters and sends me flowers every other day, the question everybody asks is how we make it last I tell them I still, he still, we still......" Tamia

At the beginning of almost every young relationship its filled with jonesing on the phone till the sun comes up and or going to the movies all the time. There are of course the few love letters or notes here and there. But with all that comes the stupid arguments and even the cursing and screaming. Sad to say some relationships don't make it past the first few arguments. Young love is very sensitive but if that love perseveres that love grows and stays strong.

For almost the past 5 years my relationship has grown dramatically. Were not those young teenagers in high school anymore but we've built a family. In my relationship as in any you should always stay true to who you were from the beginning. I love how I can breathe on the phone with him for hours when were not around each other. Being able to play fight and laugh about it keeps us young (even though we are far from old).

No matter how long we stay together, which I know will be FOREVER he's still the man of my dreams. As corny as this may sound, although its become routine to waking up to him everyday I can't help but smiles are. I don't just smile but my heart smiles because its truly happy. Now we all do know that no relationship does have its arguments and disagreements. No matter how much we might fuss and fight whether it be over the biggest thing ever or the simplest of him not taking the dog out, "we'll be always there to make up as long as we stick together we'll climb higher, I'm gonna ride with him to the wire, our love is never gonna end we're on fire..."

Without Him There Would Be No You

[1018pm] before 2006 it was just me but on September 18, 2006 i was given the greatest gift, my son of course. No one comes into this world without two parents, whether they are together or not, if you call him a sperm donor, or even a dead beat it takes two to make one.

no matter where i am or what i'm doing when i look at my son i see his father. no just because he looks like him and nothing like me lol but because he is a part of him. my son is the greatest joy in my life and without his dd he would not be here has anyone every sat there and wondered that? like the greatest joy of my life is all due to one person, his dad. no matter what me and my sons father may go through i will always be thankful to him, how can i not!

there are so many moms out in this world whether old or young who take the father of their child for granted. how can you, i know i don't or ever will! the air that my son breathes is partly because of him. i hope we can stay together forever but God forbid we don't the way i view him will never change. regardless if we should come to bad terms or worse i will still be thankful to him for giving me my little boy.

i NEVER thought i could love someone this much!

[823pm] What do you love more than anything in this world? Is it popularity, money, jewelry, nice cars, or even that latest fashions. Not everyone can say they have someone they love more than life itself. I was blessed to have that amazing feeling, loving my son more than anything.

If you are a parent, godparent, someones child, or whatever the case may be you can understand where I'm coming from. Before having my son I always knew I loved my mother to death and even my family. Still to this day I will say the same but something is different. When my son was born it was like all the love I had was only for him. I would do anything for him, I would die for him! How can you not love someone unconditionally when you know you brought them into the world.

I was a good kid but not a perfect kid and I did somethings to annoy my mom. What teenager doesn't do that to their parents. When I was younger I thought she was so annoying and just bothering me for her own personal kicks lol. OMG! But as I got older and I had my own child I realized she loved me more than anything. In my eyes my son can do no wrong. Coming home pregnant at 18 didn't please her but I saw she really loved me because she supported me the whole way. Some people are unfortunate and get treated like crap for making a mistake but I was blessed. We all make bad judgements but you know you are unconditionally loved when your parents are always there no matter what. That is something I never take for granted!

To love someone unconditionally is the greatest feeling in the world. And to know that they will always love you in return is what keeps me going everyday.

Escape

[805pm] Have you ever just shoved your face in your pillow and scream or even let out a good yell while taking a shower? I can honestly say I've done that on more that one occasion. Sometimes everyone needs an Escape just to get away from it all.

Life has its challenges and sometimes it can be a bit to much for you. There have been times that I have been by myself for hours at a time and even when I went away to the Bahamas for a few days, all I kept thinking to myself was finally I get some time to breathe. But the only thing I could find myself thinking about were the things that I was trying to get a break from. Was the house clean, did I do this or did I do that, and mostly I could not help but think about my little man.

You really can't help about thinking of something so much if its all your life is consumed by. And especially if its something or someone that has your heart.

Thank You!

[338pm] Hi everyone, well the few that read my blog. I just want to say thank you for even taking the time out to read it. At first I figured I'd blog about my life only but that didn't work out. As you can see through such short time my blog has taken many shapes. I figured why not just write about me but all the fun, crazy, upsetting, sad, and even opinionated things that go on in my head. You can see it will have a very wide range of topics. So be for warned that vampires and my life's stories are just the beginning.


Jacqie <3

Just Imagine

[144pm] "EXPELEARMUS!" If you have seen any Harry Potter films or have read the books you should be able to recognize that word easily. "I vhant to suck your blood," classic wouldn't you say. Just imagine if some of that stuff was really real.

I would consider myself to be quite the avid reader of topics like this. From witches and warlocks to vampires and werewolves I LOVE IT! Who doesn't love it these days its become a huge craze. The idea of immortality is what keeps me and a lot of other readers coming back for more. The whole world knows immortality is only a fantasy. The idea of being able to walk the earth for all time and to never die is a wasted thought, IMPOSSIBLE. But your imagination will do just fine. I swear if it were true I would have casted a few spells on some people now lol.

Although its all fake what if all these centuries of burning witches at the stake and the thousands upon thousands of stories were all just a cover-up. One day you wake up and turn to the news and the first thing you hear is "vampires do exist, I repeat vampires do exist." Everyone would laugh and think nothing of it until it was straight pandemonium. Would you jump at the chance to be immortal? I would but I wouldn't. Some of the people you love might not want the same thing as you do, immortality. Could you live forever and watch them all age and then die while you never change.

I know wild imagination right, lol. My friend "Maurice" would understand me 100% =). And I know there are millions out there who think the same as me but are afraid to tell it. So just let your mind wonder for once and "Just Imagine," you'll enjoy it!

Death Before Dishonor.....

What if "Death Before Dishonor," really meant that in this day and age? At some point in time if a person ever were to betray their family, clan, following, club, troop, etc. they would be put to death. The simplest crime could get you hung, shot, or even beheaded. Do you know how many people would be dead right now for being disloyal.

Sad to say some people out here don't even know the meaning of loyalty. The textbook definition of loyalty is the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations. Loyalty for me is RIDE OR DIE! Can you honestly say that you will stand behind your man, family, and even friends no matter what? When you hold a commitment to someone whether it be a relationship, your family, or even a friendship nothing should make you disloyal. Now I'm not going to write this and act like little miss perfect because no one is perfect. One thing I can say is I know where my loyalty lies. I know that if my boyfriend comes home and says he committed a crime, I'm going to have his back and the same goes for my family and a few close friends. When it comes to loyalty it does all depend on your bond with those you are comitted to. I will say though bonds can be broken and thats a guarentee.

So where does your loyalty lie and can you honestly say DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR!

BAD BITCH NO MUZZLE!

[1108pm] For years, decades, generations, and even centuries females have had an anthem. "RESPECT" Aretha Franklin for our back in the day chicks and even "INDEPENDENT WOMAN" Destiny's Child (well just about all their songs lol). Now I think there is a new twist to a chicks empowering song, Miss Nicki Minaj "GO HARD."

"GO HARD," has that rugged sex appeal to it. Every chick out there has to relate to that song to some extent, shit I know I do. I may not be hood or I may not in a sense go hard, but I do know I stand my ground. In this song she is saying she represents for who she is and she goes hard to let it be known. We've all cried our last tear and were ready to say I'm holding down my own. In a sense chicks go hard regardless! We go hard for looks, fashion, status, and so much more. What do you go for? I go hard for my family and my self respect! No chick out there should really have to go hard to prove ANYTHING! I don't have to say shit to anybody because I know I'm so hard, LMAO. Don't underestimate! (woo that's a whole lot of exclamation points hehehehe)

Stand yah ground ladies and let the world know "you can hate me but why knock my hustle; I'ma be a queen no matter how they shuffle....I'm a bad bitch no muzzle!"

I's a bahamian bey & proud of it!

Junkanoo!!!!

[1142PM] When you look at me what do you see? Right off the bat you say "white girl" and for some reason spanish girl. First off I am not spanish, I REPEAT I AM NOT SPANISH! I am in fact half black half white. You'd be surprised to know that th "white" side of me comes from the Caribbean, Nassau, Bahamas to be exact. Maybe not born there but definitely raised.

Almost all of the United States has Caribbean people in it. Jamaicans, trinis, guyanese and more. But I am happy to be different from all the rest. Not many Bahamians migrate so to say. Nassau is an amazingly beautiful island. That small "rock" holds many cherished memories for me. My dad was born and raised there, he taught me so much. Although in appearance he looked white he was straight up Caribbean. His accent was so thick it would amaze you. Although he is smiling down on mem from heaven he taught me so much about my culture and to be proud of where we came from.

Nassau isn't like every other island we are our own people. For over 7 years I got to live in the sun, go to schools that would beat you with rulers (although thats not something to brag about lol), and even go to the beach everyday after school. It was practically my backyard. So many memories that I would share but there is one that truly holds my heart.

Almost all islands have carnival but we called ours JUNKANOO! Thers are colorful costumes, amazing people, great live music, and culture. I can remember being about 5 years old and waking up at about 2 in the morning to go down to wathc Junkanoo. The beating of the drums, the sweet melody of the steel drum, and the sounds of the cow bells is hypnotizing. Sitting high on my dads shoulders while he danced and rushed with the crowd. This and so much more makes me proud to call myself a BAHAMIAN.

My father taught me a lot and I will pass this onto my son. He to will be proud to say he is a Bahamian and Caribbean. I will say though that you should not get it twisted. I can show you a side of me you won't recognize. My accent will have you second guessing if it was really me lol. So now you know I'm not just some white chick from L.I. "I's a bahamian bey and proud of it!"

HATE is such a strong word!

[215am ] Hate is such a strong word! At any age I'm sure a parent or even an older mature person has told you that. In order to hate someone you really have to have been wronged in the most major way possible. Don't say you hate such and such person because they scuffed your new kicks, that's just petty. Although I am trying to find a legitimate reason to hate someone, never should you be able to find a reason.

For years I have said no way someone could ever make me hate them unless they harmed someone I really loved very badly. Everyone isn't the same, hate can come in many forms. But when you hate some one you aren't hurting them your hurting yourself. If you give that said person such power you are only weakening yourself. You put all your time and energy into saying why this person is bad and what you would like to do and how could they or whatever the case may be. Is that making you feel any better? HELL NO! Don't even sit there and lie to yourself "she don't know what she talking about." If that person knew the tiniest bit that you were loosing sleep over them it would make them feel better about themselves because they knew you were miserable because of them. Never is it your job to make that person feel good about themselves because of what they have done to you.

This blog is specifically about my life and I'm trying to keep it as real as possible. I'm not going to front I never thought I could hate someone so much. Its like the thoughts that constantly clouded my mind was "how could they!" And I knew if the roles were flipped they would feel the same exact way. As time passed I knew that hating that person was childish and unhealthy for me mentally. I had bigger and better things to worry about. So instead of focusing negative energy out there I thought only positive to the best of my ability.

As hard as it may be for some people if you can be mature and try to set all things aside no matter what the situation is you are AMAZING! Don't just do it for yourself do it for those you love as well because the way you feel can affect them as well. I took that step and it made all the difference. I knew that deep down I couldn't hate anyone who had something that was a part of the people that I love the most. And even if you choose to reach out don't expect someone else's maturity level to be as high as yours. Just knowing that you tried and took that step should make you feel phenominal. You never know maybe that day will come when you and that person could squash it all for the sake of you and everyone else that it affects and completely eliminate hate out of your life. HATE is no good!

god doesn't put you in situations you can't handle

[1150pm]"I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens for a reason. The hard time that you go through builds character, making you a much stronger person." Rita Mero

As my uncle would always say to me "God doesn't put you in a situation that you can't handle."
Can a statement like this be true? I've come to think so! There are some people right now if I switched lives with them at the moments that had me at my worst they would of bailed! From the tender age of 3 to the my not so old age of 22 of have been through some crazy shit. Shit that I never thought I would have to go through but yet I did. With each battle that I have faced I have come out the victorious one no matter an outside source might think. Hardships and even regrets make you a very strong person, well they have for me. And I do believe that I am at my strongest, try me =) j/k.

For the past 3 years I feel like I have been to hell and back with a first class ticket! I was getting dealt blow after blow after blow. There are moments that I might have thought to myself well if I didn't meet that person or if I would of said this or that when I had the chance maybe this would be like that and so forth. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON! I look at the things that I looked at as regrets/hardships more like stepping stones or little speed bumps to get me where I'm at right now. I have an amazing son, boyfriend, and can't forget about good dog either. You have to think like if whatever his name or her name wasn't such a jackass and we broke up I might not ever met the love of my life right now for example.

With regrets comes lessons learned and it even makes you a stronger person. After loosing the first man who ever had my heart, my father<3> I moved from Nassau, Bahamas back to NY. If I would of stayed there maybe he would of lived past 52 years. Sad to say I don't regret not going back to possibly save my dad because I might not have my amazing son right now. And I knew that my dad wouldn't have it any other way as well.

Your will, will be tested time and time again. If you continue to stay strong and be true to yourself there is nothing you can not handle. My limits were tested and so might have yours but I held my head high and buckled up for that bumpy ride with my first class ticket. I grew up with values and respect for myself and the ones I love and because of that I withstood some of the hardest shit any woman has to go through. When you have good morales and respect for your self you might as well tell them "bring it on." I know almost everyone out here can probably say with all the shit you've been through there is nothing you can't handle. Trust me I know this for a fact.

I was given the strength to handle anything, were you?

Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!

Wild Goose Chase

[1027pm] The work world is no joke. Everyone is out there fighting for the same job/opportunity as you. Were all like a bunch of starving piranha that are fighting for that one carcass/job. I'm sure everyone leaves their house thinking to themselves "i got this son" lol. When strolling up to the office or wherever you may be interviewing you see the countless amount of people that are there for the same job as you. Every piranha in that pond is waiting for their turn to take a bite out of that carcass. Only one piranha/person will come out victorious. Will it be me? NOPE! Not today! I wasn't the one to come out on top this time.

How many interviews can anyone go on until they have had enough? Everyone is out here basically starving for any type of job. Almost anyone out here would be happy to get just about anything. Happiness can start with "welcome to McDonald's may i take your order" or it may even be cleaning someones toilets I don't know. My significant other says I'm to picky, pah! I'd rather be picky than be stuck at a job for months or even years making little to no money just to say I have a job. So I probably won't ever falter from my quest of job hunting because somewhere out there my job awaits me. And it awaits the millions of people in NYC as well.

a new beginning

[909am] Since 2006 I was blessed to be able to stay home with my son. Anyone who normally has a child goes back into the working world within a matter of weeks but for me it was different. On a beautiful day the 18th of Septemeber my son came into this world. He didn't come into the world a fat healthy little baby but a baby maybe the size of a nice juicy steak as my Aunt Clo would say. May she rest in peace, she was taken to heaven yesterday :'( but she's in a better place.

He was hooked up to everything you could possibly imagine. They told me he wouldn't have his eyes open or make a sound. Being born at 30 weeks vs the regular full term 40 weeks he came out peeing on the doctor and he looked me right in the eyes with his big beautiful brown eyes. He needed all the care and attention he could get. He only weighed 2lbs 2oz and right some that moment he came out as a fighter.

The first days of his life were spent in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). He was hooked up to breathing machines, had to be fed by a tube, he had jondus, he even had some pretty extensive surgery. All the days and nights I spent there I prayed for my little man. But sometimes it was so hard to keep a strong heart because all around me parents were crying because their babies couldn't hold on any longer. But I was blessed and my little man came home somewhat great he just needed a bit of help with an oxygen tank. That didn't last long though because he made it quite clear to me and his dad Estaban when he pulled it out one day during the whole ride out. AMAZING!

Because of what I had and the amazing boyfriend/father I was able to stay home and give my little man the one on one that he needed and then some. Spending time with him is amazing and not having to force him to daycare at such a young age made me so happy. Some people ridicule those who get supported by their significant others but if they knew how much they were helping their child they would do the same. Or maybe if their situation was different and they had that amazing support as I do they would do the same. I am an educated smart woman and I will do what I have to do for my son and staying home is what I chose. He knows the meanig of family because of that such much more than maybe another little boy or girl might. So don't be so quick to pass judgement but look at the better part to being able to be a stay at home mom.

Well now my little man is healthy and happy and about to start school and because of that its time for me to start going out into the working world. Hoping for jobs but at the same time a bit nervous. I did dabble in seasonal this past 2009, F that jobs bunch of asses lmao.
So today I contine to make that journey to work. Do I need to? No I really don't because Estaban made it clear that I don't need to (love you <3). Question is, do I want to? Yes I do because I have to contiune to strive for my goals and thats to continue school and become Dr.Jacqueline Newton! [ill no longer be Jacobs by the time that happens :o)]

WISH ME LUCK READERS although its just a few for now. And comment away if you wish I have set it to where anyone can comment. Be nice as I am with what you have to say!

Introducing me blogging

[120am]Normally I am in bed by 11 being that I act like I'm 30 smh. But tonight I've decided to stay up for a while after spending some quality time with my amazing bf, I'll call him Estaban lol. Just got a flashback to the first days of us talking in 2005. He use to call me Jazz and I would call him Estaban and Jazz annoyed the shit out of me for so many reasons.

Being that this is the first blog that I have ever written I have no clue what to do lol. Normally all my thoughts go into the many notebooks or what I guess you would call journals that are all over my house. Some are in my dressor, closet, my moms house, and the basement. I have enough writtings to probably publish 4 or more 3hundred and something page books.

Blogging never seemed to interest me but its time to start trying new things. You never know my blogging could become a big hit, never say never.

I don't know how often I might write on this thing. Maybe every other week, twice a week, or it may even become an everyday thing. All that depends on if people are actually reading it. This is just a test to see how I like doing this. If I did contine to "blog" I would be writing about my life story I guess. There have been some good and some bad moments in it and that's all a part of life, well my life anyways. I'm not perfect and neither is my life but I wouldn't change any part of it. So if you know me and to some extent of what I've been through you will know one thing about me, I AM A STRONG WOMAN!

So goodnight and here is to many

more bloggings and the beginning to the journey of my life!