that day will come

[759pm] there will come a day when we will bump into each other. there will maybe even come a day when we can be cordial to one another. and maybe not you but i do look forward to those days. the days when i know that drama no longer exists. the days that i know that all bad has been put behind us. at some point we were OK and then it became a bitter battle between what you could call mortal enemies. i don't want to be best friends because i already have one of those as do so many other people out there. but what i do want is for everyone to be adults. no matter what age I'm sure we've considered ourselves to be quite grown but not this is for real. lives hang in the balance! i love my life and I'm sure you love yours but its not about us. to many times with anything I've gone through my temptation almost wins me over. to many times i written messages and deleted them because i know they would go unanswered. now no one can look at me as twisted or whatever word suits them best. because if they only knew the real situation they would understand my inner pain. the pain i felt for myself has diminished the pain i have now is for the ones i love the most. the ones who deserve to be a part of someone else so special.

hate hate hate hate hate is all i could think but now all i can do is hope hope hope hope that things will change for the better. maybe you will reach out and say let it end because so much is being missed. we can't be mortal enemies if i extend my ears to listen, my mind to understand, my heart to feel, and my hand to welcome you in. there are other people besides me who feel the same. I'm always a message away and so are they. whatever bad blood there is i remember once being told by someone and hopefully the words are right but "don't let whatever problems we have affect ... being that I'm with him...." we've all said things to people but can we take our own advice. its hard and I'll admit it sometimes i won't even take my own advice.

in ending be wise people about the decisions you make. they don't just affect you they also affect the ones you love and the ones you use to love.